February 22, 2005, Busted!!! Three Pass Tour

After 30 k's of travel over three major passes adding up to  8k feet climbing over the span of 11 hours,  it is hard to stay calm when your  buddy is standing in the parking lot at the Rogers Pass Info Center with the cuffs on.  

But lets back up and start with the good stuff; amazing touring under a perfect sky with three excellent companions.  We awoke at 4, packed in a hurry and wolfed down a five alarm breakfast.  Our host-Karin, aka "the uber Swede", had convinced us a few days previous that conditions were perfect for a  one day tour of the three pass traverse--a 30k sojourn well into the back country of Glacier National Park.  With slightly sore muscles from the tour up to Terminal Peak and a day with the rabble feasting on Monashee Pow, we arrived at the info center parking lot well before the opening.  No one remembered to purchase the pass for Nathanial's Subaru.  Karin's exploder was dropped off on the way up  the pass at the McGill Shoulder Parking lot.  The plan was simple;  grind away all day and hopefully reach the parking lot that same day.

We reached Balu Pass by 8:30.  It was cold and beautiful.  Nikki and I, always the slow movers early in the morning, were witness to a drama on the open slopes below Cheops.  A pine martin was fighting for his life against a crow.  The plucky little guy would leap up at the crow and make a few feet of valuable distance as the crow would leap backwards.  The crow would slash at the martin with his beak and feet to try and disable it.  This went on for five minutes and thirty meters until another crow showed up.  Although our sympathies were with the pine martin, it looked like it was all over for him/her.  Amazingly, dispite some bad hits, the plucky little guy fought off the two crows with his leaps and dashed into a small tree well.  The crows waited for ten minutes outside the tree well before flying off with empty stomachs.  Never give up!!!

From the top of Balu we descended down to the Cougar Valley.  Fifteen minutes up the valley, first Nathanial and then Karin punched in a skin track up the steep, sun baked initial slope.  At the top of the steep pitch, I took over and skinned up 1,500 feet to the "elegant ramps" that lead to the top of the Catamount.  The kids are having a great time!  It took us only 3 hr. and change to reach the pass and it looks like this tour is doable.  At the pass we break for lunch and the group photo with each of us flashing the peace sign.  (At Balu, we take a group picture with each of us holding up one finger.)  It is absolutely stunning at the top.  We can see the highway down Cougar Creek, all of the Illeciliwat and the Asulkin and north to the Rockies.  From the top of the Canatmount we commit to the traverse by dropping down five k feet to the creek flowing out from the head of McBride Pass.  We follow the creek up through the forest for three k until the route breaks out into some huge avalance terrain.  The previous day, my friend Doug had previewed the route on the map for me.  When we got to the section showing the route under  Wolverine Ridge and Mt.McBride, Doug stated that it made the Connaught look like puppy piss.  It was certainly impressive, five thousand foot walls on both walls with the valley floor narrowing down to 75 meters in some spots.  It took a few hours and eight ks of slogging to reach the top of McBride Pass.  At the top of the pass, we snuggled together and held up three fingers for the camera.  Success!!! The skins came off, the headlamps were placed close at hand and we started down to the exploder, another 90 minutes or so away of frustrating skiing.  The south facing sun crust forces us into the creek drainage in search of powder- or anything that doesn't scruuuunch when you turn and send you flying over the tips.  Karin drops the map, Nikki falls into a hole trying to skirt the umpteenth frozen waterfall, Nathanial's feet are hamburger and I am trying to descend with a the meager light from a double diode headlamp.  We just want to reach the trail below McGill shoulder where we can effortlessly glide down to the Ford.  The steep sides on the creek refuse to allow us escape until we are nearly all the way down to the valley.  Karin is gone down the luge run of a trail with Nathanial closed behind.  Nikki and I snowplow, fall, curse, slam into unseen banks, curse some more and flail like druken dervishes down the icy trail until the full moon lightens are mood and the path in front of us.

We reach the parking lot to see the Warden truck.  I puff up thinking it is going to impress him when he hears about our trip.  Mr. Warden is not in the mood to be impressed.  He is barking at Nathanial and ordering Karin to show her park pass.  Karin tells him to go and look himself.  In the high beam illuminated parking lot, Nathan explains that he is being arrested for falling to get a park pass.  He can secure his freedom and take possession of his car  if he comes up with 500 bucks.  I lose it and start yelling at the #%$$*&.  (Always a great technique to take wity authority).  Nathanial, facing a night at the crow bar hotel if things get any worse, tells me to cool it and he will handle it.  Warden dude is getting nervous at this point and orders us to get into our car and meet him and Nathanial at the pass.

We find Nathanial at the parking lot with the cuffs on. Warden yells at us to stay in the car.  I ask him if he is going to release Nathanial tonight?  He angrily repeats his order for us to get in the car.  Screw it I tell Karin, were in the car, lets go and get a beer at the hotel and wait.  (Trying to keep his hands warm, Nathanial was warming them up in the pockets of his duvat.   This also made the Pass peace officer nervous so out came the cuffs and Nathanail was read his rights.  Warden explained that it was protocol--that he may have a hidden leatherman-- and that he can't take any chances.) Nathanial told us later that he could barely work the cuffs and seemed really nervous.  Warden tells Nathanial that he backcountry skis and that he hates doing this part of his job. Nathanial makes a plea for the dude to be reasonable over a six dollar pass--the placed was closed when we arrived he explains!!  "I just did a kick ass tour--I was not trying to get away with anything".  So after trying to get the cash from a malfunctioning cash machine Warden calls his boss for directions.  Nathanial promises to show up in court in Reve on March 2 and the fiasco is over--for us anyway.

On the drive down to Reve we rail against absurd authority and stupidity.  The whole thing seems absurd to us and we are angry that someone has dared to ruin the end of our wonderful tour.  The pizza delivered to the door and Doug's tale of others (many locals) caught in the sweep for non payers has our mood brightened somewhat.  Buy a pass or park in the hotel lot!!!!

Tuesday, Nikki and I force tired muscles up and over Mt. Mcpherson overlooking Reve.  We dropped into the womb, a 4,200 ft. gulley run above town.  It was anything but nurturing.  From a promising start of creamy powder we had every hidious snow condition possible in one place:  wind crust, two foot ice balls, side sliding ice above runnning water, boney snow over alder, and down low, thick trees and steep luge runs  down through alder.  "So Mrs. Lincoln, other than that, how was the play"  Maybe if we had not been so tired we might have been able to give as good as we were given.

That's it Mark.  25,000 honest feet of touring in four days.  Oh, by the way, we are making up T-shirts for Nathanial to offset his legal and travel expenses.  Free Nathanial H**t over a picture of Rogers Pass.  I will pass along the details for the fundraiser in B'ham when I return from the Island.